Month: September 2018

Journal #2

Jocelyn Rivas

 

In “Babes in the Woods” by Caitlin Flanagan, a teenager’s mindset and the uneasy nature of a mother is described. The author spends most of the beginning portion of the article focusing on a man trying to catch her attention at the train station. Flanagan quickly proceeds to depict how uncomfortable the situation was. She uses this encounter to develop the idea that the internet is so dangerous to the point where it may welcome a harmful situation. For example, posting where you will be makes it easier to find you and if someone has bad intentions, they will.

Something that peaked my curiosity is when the writer says that the man she hardly knew called her parents. I’m assuming he saw their number from the tag on her bag because right before departing her told her to be cautious about what she writes on the tag. I found this so strange, why would someone do that?

I didn’t like the transition in paragraph six, “The history of civilization…” because the author went from talking about Long Island New York to weaving in the seventeenth century. That paragraph just started off so boring and is so distinct from what was previously said. She had my interest in the beginning but threw me off with the history lesson.

I also didn’t like how much she talked about “To Catch a Predator.” She goes on about that show for four paragraphs, that seems a bit extensive and I think she should have condensed the main point. Shortening what she said about the show could also make the allusion more effective because going on about that one thing could potentially makes readers lose interest.

The first two sentences of the article are very relatable because it explains how distinct the enthusiasm of a teen is when it comes to spending time with family versus a friend. She explained it almost perfectly, it’s not that teens in general don’t like going out with family but it’s more of how much the company of friends change a setting. With a friend, you’re usually more apt to have fun, most likely due to the fact that a family setting is in most cases, formal. For example, when she mentioned that when invited to spend time with a friend in another state, she was “packed by midnight” it reminded me of my annual trips to Six Flags with my cousin. I have things ready the day before for Six Flags, but when I go to the lake with my family, I just find shorts that same morning and that’s it.

I also completely understood Flanagan when she mentions her mother’s advice when it comes to men. Her mother told her to not let a man disrespect her among other things. This allows the writer to portray the protectiveness and troublesome nature of a mother and how her mother’s words creep up at her subconscious during the encounter with the man.

I found the dialogue in the article to be effective, it gives readers more of an insight as to what was going on. I noticed that dialogue also allowed the writer to smoothly describe the way in which certain things were said. This eventually added onto characterization, Flanagan brilliantly describes who she’s interacting with through words such as “something mocking about him” and “respectfully.” I found it interesting how Flanagan mentions that the man was not harming her yet contradicts herself within the span of three sentences and practically calls him menacing.

 

 

Big Sister (memoir rough draft)

Jocelyn Rivas

 

There I was with my mom, sitting on the living room carpet, each of us holding a doll in our hands. We were pretending that they were going to a party together, it would be held in the dining room, although in my head it was at a much fancier place, perhaps one with a massive chandelier in the middle of the ceiling. I was an only child for seven years and whenever I played as a little kid it was almost always with my mom. I didn’t have a sibling to play with me so I constantly found that the one person entertaining me was my mom, someone four times my age. At least she made an effort to make me happy by going along with my scenarios, she appeared to have fun every time but it sometimes crossed my mind that maybe she wasn’t. What adult wants to play pretend on their free time?

 

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I was outside, jump roping with my cousin at her house when I saw the white truck. It was time. My dad was bringing me to the hospital to see my newborn sister. I had wanted a sibling for as long as I could remember.

 

We went home first, my dad was going to get clothes ready for my mom, she was getting out of the hospital in two days and she wasn’t going to leave in the hospital gown she was given. We also went home for another reason, my dad wanted me to change and look presentable. I was too excited and that wasn’t going to happen, I thought it would just slow us down and I wanted to get the the hospital as soon as possible. I just wanted to leave already. I didn’t end up changing. I went with blue jeans that fit me too big, a pink short sleeve and my hair, that was the worse part, I hadn’t even done it. My hair was all over the place, strands falling in my face almost, yet I somehow managed to keep it in a hair tie. I didn’t care about how I looked.

 

Finally, we were in the truck. I thought, how long does it really take to put a shirt and pants in a  bag for mom to change? “Did you see her? How does she look?” I kept asking questions the entire car ride, I’m surprised my dad didn’t seem to be getting sick of them, although he probably was.

 

Oh no, another stop. Flowers! How dare we show up without flowers! We went to stop and shop and my dad told me to pick out a bouquet of roses for her. I had a hard time choosing, I relied heavily on the colors they had when coming to a decision. I chose the bouquet with red and yellow roses. “Those” I told my dad.

 

We’re here, going up the elevator, and before I know it, I was pushing the white door open and saw  my mom laying on the bed. I gave her the flowers and immediately, almost urgently, ask about my sister. “She’s with the nurse,” she says. Of course she is I think. Time starts to pass by slowly and then I realize something, I haven’t really spent time with both of my parents, my dad works long shifts and by the time he usually gets home, I am asleep. Yet here we are, together at the hospital. The door opens again, the nurse walks in, pushing the baby in what to me appears to be a white bin, but is actually similar to a crib. There she is, asleep and so beautiful. She was bundled up in a white blanket that had a blue and red stripe on it. She had a hat with thick pink and purple stripes on it, with a pom pom on it. It was the beginning of July I wondered why they put a hat on her.

 

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I have two brothers and two sisters now. My youngest sibling is only eleven months. Before, the family dynamic wasn’t anywhere near as loud and crazy as it is now. Before, I would come home from school to a quiet atmosphere and now it’s completely insane. I always joke around with my mom and tell her that our house is a daycare, there’s tons of chaos and all involving kids. Everyday there are fights between them, always over something that doesn’t make sense. With so many children I find that I’m always cleaning up their messes with my mom. I’d take my madhouse over what was a ghost town any day. Although we might argue sometimes, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my family.

 

Journal #1

Jocelyn Rivas

In the memoir “What’s Eating Me” David Guy focuses on how much the lack of physical affection from his mother impacted him not only emotionally, but physically as well. Having no physical affection from his mother led to David Guy feeling ashamed of himself to the point where he had a low self-esteem and gained weight. The death of his father is what shaped his change in lifestyle, he began losing weight while becoming paranoid of what he consumed, he thought of every little thing he ate. However, as an adult, the longing for a hug or a kiss stopped, he no longer felt that he needed affection, he had gone so long without it. It is something that impacted him for as long as he could remember, it never went away.

I personally liked this essay because it incorporates a variety of issues that can stem from a family environment. I find it interesting how David Guy at one point in his memoir mentions a cat and he describes it as “a sacred and starving stray, who is obviously still deeply fearful of being abandoned.” The cat is a direct allusion to the way Guy felt on the inside, the absence of affection from his mother is his internal abandonment that made him feel like a stray and in a way unwanted. Reading this memoir made me see how I need to focus on expanding a situation in a way that allows other people to relate to it while thoroughly explaining why certain things occurred the way they did.

The fact that the essay incorporates health issues that are tied to childhood situations can be intriguing to many. The universal significance is that the ambience from a home in which a child grows up in can cause permanent damage, the smallest gestures mean the most.  Internal conflict is what I think helps David Guy build the universal significance because it’s something that allows others understand where he is coming from. I can relate to this memoir because I also don’t receive physical affection from my parents but I can’t relate to the extremities that the situation has put David Guy through. In the beginning he mentions that he noticed a baby being held so close to his mother made him think of how the baby “Is a part of her.” It is what made him realize this is something he wasn’t receiving at home. This actually reminded me of the time when my younger brother was born and my little sister thought that my parents didn’t love her anymore because most of the attention was going to the baby. An observation lead her to a conclusion, the same idea applies for David Guy. Looking at the baby laying on his mother resulted in a realization.

 

 

 

Four Sentences and a Scene

Jocelyn Rivas

Descriptive sentences:

  1. The tranquil waters of the ocean reside in my hometown, you can always see people walking to corner stores or nearby parks with their family but most importantly, people who lived in the community never failed to flash a smile.
  2. Laci wore silver six inch heels that were covered in gems, yellow glasses that were pointy at the ends and a pink puffy dress that was covered in sparkles but to top off her style, she waved a hand fan in front of her face that swiftly moved her bright red hair.
  3. Mr. Brown doesn’t even teach the class, he just sits behind his desk while drinking coffee and shouts demands at us, he gives an unreasonable amount of homework that he never ends up grading, the most he does is take attendance.
  4. It was difficult to walk in the room considering the fact that clothes and shoes were everywhere, making the floor barely visible, the bed wasn’t made,  even the door was broken.

Scene:

She ran frantically under the heat of the sun upon the sight of the big dog chasing after her. Her younger sister was right behind her, tired yet running, trying to catch up. The older sister was thinking “why am I running, I’m only making things worse” as they continued stomping on the cement and stopped when they ran up a random house’s stairs. The dog was barking loudly near the older sister’s leg, she was saying to herself “its going to bite me.” It is no surprise that the younger sister was hiding behind the older sister out of fear. They were both panicking but it isn’t until then that they heard the word that saved the day, the owner shouting the dog’s name.

 

Who I am as a Writer

Jocelyn Rivas

Upon reading “Metaphoric Musings for College” one thing became very clear, you don’t have to follow the norms of writing. The article encompasses the idea of writing without following certain rules. For as long as I can remember, most essays that I have written follow the five paragraph format I have been taught. I have grown accustomed to writing an introduction that has a thesis at the very end and a conclusion that wraps up the essay and “cleans” it up. Personally, I struggle with conclusions, making a final paragraph that effectively covers the argument or point becomes difficult without simply rewriting what was already mentioned throughout the essay.

Shelley Reid’s statement that “you need to focus on not losing them [the audience] somewhere along the way” (Reid, 10) is something I don’t think I struggle with too much. I do tend to stay on topic but I find that sometimes I have a hard time turning pieces of writing into something that will not be depicted as boring. This is an important aspect of writing because it incorporates having an engaging essay. Bringing up how it’s important to not lose readers reflects off of how critical it is to make sure you know who your audience is.

The phrase I most connect to is the fact that “not all paragraphs are one size fits all” (Reid, 15). I think that a really short paragraph can place emphasis on a major point and might reinforce what you’re trying to say. In high school, I found that teachers constantly said “everyone is a different writer” yet they program us to make paragraphs that are lengthy and follow these “rules” that Reid conveys aren’t highly important to follow. Since everyone writes in a distinct manner, I agree with Reid that the rules must be bent at times.

I am the type of person that writes everything down, I don’t initially jump at a computer when it comes to writing an essay. The same concept applies for me when it comes to reading, I prefer a physical copy, rather than reading on a screen. A hard copy allows me to easily annotate and underline things that will be useful in a piece of writing. This is one of the main reasons as to why I think this course will be interesting, it relies on this blog and constant usage of the site, it makes me connect to the internet in ways that I did not before.